How to deal with unsolicited advice during wedding planning?

May 10, 2019

Article by: Hazafa Hasan

 

We know that as a bride to be, you have already have envisioned every detail of your wedding & how to make it perfect. Unfortunately, so has your mum, you saas, your elder (experienced) sister, and perhaps that phuppo who was previously convinced you will never settle down.

We traditional, big fat Pakistani families have made an art form of being in everybody else’s business, blood relation or no.

Something about wedding planning pushed the intrusive instincts of our usually level-headed family members and friends, into an overdrive. When you finally pick the perfect date for your wedding, you will find that everybody has an opinion about everything. And if you ever tried to keep up with them… it’s safe to say your big day will turn into a mismatched fiasco that looks nothing like your dream wedding. So, before the bits of advice escalate into something you don’t want (because it will happen eventually), here are a few tips to contain your wedding brigade:

Listen politely; there might be something you’d actually like

Not all advice is bad. You might hear something that matches with your dream wedding scenario. So have a notebook ready to jot down ALL ideas. Even the ones you don’t like so that the giver of the advice would rest knowing you at least took their advice seriously.

(via fatimatariqphotography)

Recognize when it’s actually coming from a good place

Your mom, your mother-in-law and your other family members are excited and happy for you. So you don’t have to be rude to them when you know they are actually trying to be more involved in your happiness. Appreciate the sentiment behind their eagerness, as it will help you effectively deal with tricky situations.

(via fatimatariqphotography)

Delegate the tasks you can to make the advisors feel included

Like you’d have guessed by now, many of your closet family members just wish to feel needed. So, if you trust their abilities, assign them tasks best suited to their talents. Like you could get your sister to prepare giveaways. However, remember to pick the members you can rely on to come through for you. Not everyone is good at handling responsibility.

(via fatimatariqphotography)

Compromise, when you can live with it

If someone very close to you says something you cannot ignore, but neither like, you can work on coming up with an alternative that you can work with. When all is said and done, it’s not worth it to anger your loved ones over some meager thing like the color scheme of the wedding or the food menu.

(via fatimatariqphotography)

Put your foot down when required

Some people just like to get in your head. If you hear advice that’s coming from one of those resources, just be honest about not being interested. It’s your wedding and it will be remembered as such, so don’t give in to people who push for the heck of it.

(via fatimatariqphotography)

Your wedding is once in a lifetime special day. It’s a day you have dreamed of and so has everyone else who loves you, so make an effort for others to share in the fun. As long as it doesn’t affect a few elements that you cannot compromise on. As a bride, what you say definitely goes!