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Usual Types of Guest at Any Given Big Fat Pakistani Wedding

Feb 02, 2019
Usual Types of Guest at Any Given Big Fat Pakistani Wedding

Via: Michaelangelo Photography

Given that wedding season is still in its full swing, we at thought to introduce you to the type of the wedding guests you can expect at any Big Fat Pakistani wedding. A desi wedding is a utopia in its own variety of characters present. It’s quite fascinating really. The bride and groom usually are like Elizabeth Bennet on Mr. Bingley’s ball (we mean they are cringing at how their relatives are stealing their thunder and exposing every ridiculous thing about them).

Bride & Groom

God bless, we love our families, but they do tend to outdo themselves when it comes to the embarrassing behavior. However, it’s a wedding, everyone lets loose and all these moments make for lifetime memories the couple can laugh over later. You can always be these embarrassing guests yourself at the wedding of someone else, if you are the type to hold a grudge and someone really ruined your wedding. *wink*

The Bouquet of Aunties

There are three types of aunties at any given wedding:

The disapproving aunty who (as luck would have it) has one or more eligible sons of marriageable age.

The chubby auntie in your face; you see her everywhere, hugging, laughing, teasing, dancing and putting out fires. (We all love her!)

The foreign return aunty; who’d be telling you how much everything cost. That American aunty will be complaining the whole time about everything in Pakistan is in an abysmal state, conveniently forgetting she spent most of her life here.


The Overfriendly Uncles

Then there is that uncle that’s all kind smiles and charm, but you know he has nothing kind on his mind. You go for a handshake and he extends his arm in a hug. You know his eyes are lingering, and you are forced to be polite as dictated by social convention. *awkward*

Ceremony Celebrations

The Pro Dancer Cousin

She has style, she has moves and she isn’t afraid to show it. You will see many of male population rendered agape at the sight of the overt dance moves, unconscious of their ladies glaring at them. That’s the cousin that goes all pay attention to ME! She would hold a neon sign if she could get away with that.

Wedding Dance

The Posse

At every wedding there is a group of girls that seems to be moving in sync. They are wearing the same clothes. They are close to the bride, and they simultaneously entertain and manage the whole wedding, so they are everywhere. They are nice and smiling, and you know they are the people who’d get things done for you at the wedding.

Wedding Photography

The Groom’s Handsome Friend

Oh, he is trouble! This is the guy with the charming smile, dazzling wit and greek god looks. Since another eligible bachelor (the groom) is out of the marriage mart, the entire female population of marriageable age at a wedding start worrying about their future, or are made to worry by their relatives. Ab tum kab kar rai ho shaadi?

In that depressing scenario, that eye candy friend is there and he makes things bearable. He is usually good at bhangra… which makes him irrationaly attractive to any Punjabi girl. He is also likely to be a PTI supporter, so like we said… irresitable!

Groom's Friend dress

The Family’s Price Tag

All families have that one person who is a walking consumer brand’s poster. He is likely to talk more in figures. Oh, these earrings… I bought them for 10, 000. My watch? It’s a Rolex. Have you ever seen one original? We get it you have money, so  does millions of other people, stop rubbing it in everyone’s face.  It’s tasteless and annoying.


The Hyper Kids

There are little rascals at every wedding, who are yelling, wailing, running and creating general chaos. One thing has to be said about them, they do not discriminate, when it comes to their elders. They will tell you inappropriate things about everyone at the worst moment possible.

Enjoyment at Wedding

The Photo Freak

This is a self-acclaimed photographer that has everyone posing. He is always taking pictures or photobombing intimate moments. They are not the worst of the wedding guests, but are actually quite harmless, so we learn to go along with them.

photo freak

The Foodie & the Critique

These two types of guests are only interested in one thing; the wedding buffet. There is little else they can talk about. The foodie, even less so because of his full mouth. He is always eating and encouraging others to eat as well. The critique will think he is some food blogger and analyze the presentation, taste, temperature, quantity and quality. Everyone generally ignores them, except for the videographer.

Foodie & the Critique

The Overdressed Cousin

That’s one cousin you are likely to hate forever. This is the cousin who wears her wedding dress for your special day, and makes it about herself. She is dressed to steal your thunder. She is usually good enough to pull it off. However, it’s extremely tasteless practice. Not your wedding boo! you had your day, now let someone else enjoy it. They also maybe the one telling everyone that they are the reason behind you getting married, or looking so spectacular.

Overdressed Cousin

The Eligible Hottie

She is the one next in line at the marriage mart. She is pretty, she’s accomplished and she has everyone wrapped around her fingers. She can bring smile to anyone’s face and people love seeing her at the wedding. You can just tell by the way aunties talk to her that they are planning to be the grandmother of the kids her son and this girl will be having.

Hottie Cousin

Usual Types of Guest at Any Given Big Fat Pakistani Wedding
Usual Types of Guest at Any Given Big Fat Pakistani Wedding
'cause the bonds of a family goes beyond the socially acceptable behavior.